Pagninilay… July 29, 2008

 

Ang sikip ng mundo. Parang ang hirap gumalaw. O ako lang ba talaga ang nasisikipan?

 

Sabi nila, masaya mamuhay sa mundo. Napakapalad. Kasi nga naman, marami dyan ang ni hindi na nasikatan ng araw. Marami dyan ang saglit lang, umalis din. Samantalang ako, matagal tagal na din ang itinatagal ko rito sa mundong ibabaw. Pero bakit ganun? Parang hindi masaya?

 

Aaminin ko, may mga ’saya’ moments naman ako. Marami yun. Pero ganun talaga e, mas naa-outweigh ng ’sad’ moments. Haay. Napaka pesimistiko ko na naman.

 

Test lang daw ito. Pagsubok – Mas marami pang dadating na mas malala pa ito. Nasa sayo na lang kung pano mo ito titignan. Kung pano mo ito haharapin. Ito tanong ko: Kung sugatan ka na ba sa naunang laban, mas nanaisin mo pa bang suungin ang ikalawa?

 

Ako siguro hindi. Bawat ’sad’ moment sakin kasi may tatak. Kumbaga may imprint na sa utak ko. Sabi ko nga, kung kaya ko lang warakin ang sarili ko. Palitan ko ulit ng bago gagawin ko. Matanggal ko lang ang mga pangit na alaala at mga gawi ko. Para kasi akong kabinet. Kada bilang ng araw inaagiw. Naluluma.

 

Ewan. Gusto kong lumayo muna. Mapag-isa. Mag-isip kung ano ang nangyari bakit nagkaganun. Gusto kong linisin ang sarili ko, sa labas at sa loob. Gusto ko malinaw ang pag-iisip ko.

 

Gusto ko Magnilay.

 

 

 Pulot ko ito sa hindi ko na matandaan kung saan.  Sa una, hindi ko napigilan makaramdan ng lungkot para sa kanya.   Naalala ko kasi minsan sa isang chapter ng buhay ko iisa kami ng nararamdaman. 

 

Totoo! Nagnilay din ako sa isang malayong lugar… sa parte ng Visayas ako napadpad.  Isang isla na walang ilaw kada ika-sampu ng gabi hanggang ika-anim ng umaga.  Ibang-iba sa kinalakihan ko at nakagawian.  Inisip ko baka sakali duon magawa kong hanapin ang sarili ko… baka sakali duon mahilamusan ng tubig- dagat ang sakit na nararamdaman ko.  Pero hindi ako nagtagumpay, dahil sa tinagal tagal ko duon umuwi ako na “AKO” pa din.  Ang “Ako” na kaya harapin ang bawat pagsubok na darating.  Ang “Ako” na meron tiwala sa sarili at higit sa lahat me tiwala  sa “Kanya”.  Dahil siya ang me alam ng kung ano ang mas makakabuti at nararapat.  Duon ko lang nalaman walang dapat hanapin, wala naman nawawala.  Ako ay ako pa din pagdating ko sa “Maynila”.

 

Why the trees are silent July 28, 2008

An old man and his little granddaughter were sitting in the park.  The weather was sunny, the air was still.  They were both looking at the trees when the little girl said, “Grandpa, can those trees talk?”.

The old man nodded, “you bet they can.”“

“But, grandpa, they never do.”

“You’re right,” said the old man, they never do.”

“Why not, grandpa?”

The old man smiled, “They’re too busy.

The child stared at him, “Too busy, grandpa? What do they do?”

The old man paused for a moment.  “You see honey,” he said, “Those trees give honor to God.  They stand there and lift up their arms and praise God.  That’s what they do all day – and all night.”

The child frowned, then smiled, then she nodded, and simply said, “Hmmm, isn’t that something!”

Yes that was really something isnt it?  Those trees are really busy that it makes me realized that it was Sunday a few hours ago.  But I didn’t had the chance to visit HIM… attended Mass I mean.  I know it is my obligation as a Catholic, my bad really.  I guess these past few months I was too busy with everything — and maybe even with nothing.  Too busy with work, too busy with friends, too busy with stuff, too busy with my so called life… just simply busy enough to always forgot.  Sometimes I do asked myself “Am I just to busy or maybe I am just keeping away?”  Well, I have this thing that whenever I am there and talking to Him, I can’t help myself crying while praying.  Yes! Silly me but that’s what I do.  Seeing me is like two things, it’s either you’ll say what’s with her? Or feel sorry for her [Me].  

Only He knows what’s inside my heart…   

be yourself July 27, 2008

Be what you are.  Don’t try being what you are not; 

For if you aren’t what you are, WHAT ARE YOU?

Why go to Church? July 25, 2008

Here is a Question:  Can I be a Christian without belonging to a Church?

The Answer: Yes, it is possible.  It is something like being

a student who will not go to school… a soldier who will not join an army… a citizen who does not pay taxes or vote… a salesman with no costumers… an explorer with no base camp… a seaman on a ship without a crew… a businessman on a desert island… an author without readers… a guitar player without an orchestra… a parent without a family… a basketball player without a team… a scientist who does not share findings… a bird without a nest…

The Church exist for those  outside it.  Dont stay away from the Church because it has so many hypocrites.  There’s always room for one more.  The Church is not made up of people who are better than the rest, but of people who want to become better than they are.

 off a church bulletin board

I know something good about you… July 25, 2008

Wouldn’t this old world be better if the folks we meet would say, “I know something GOOD about you”.  And then treat us just that way?  Wouldn’t it be fine and dandy, if each handclasp warm and true.  Carried with it this assurance, “I know something GOOD about you”.  Wouldn’t life be lots more happy, if we praised the good we see?  For there’s such a lot of goodness in the worst of you and me.  Wouldn’t it be nice to practice that fine way of thinking too?  You know something GOOD about me.  I know something GOOD about you.   

 just a thought

My night Prayer with a Slant July 16, 2008

Good [rainy] Morning!

Hmmm, if anyone there is wondering if I did say my prayers last night. 

Well, I kind of did I guess.

I got down on my knees and did begin to say my prayers.  And then in the middle of it, I realized that it is the same old prayers.  I thought does HE ever get tired of hearing the same old one every night?  So I decided to snuggled back in bed and told HIM the story of the three little bears.  

My Night Prayer July 16, 2008

The clock says 1:00 AM, kinda late. 

Gosh ! I still do have classes tomorrow at 10am. 

Well, I guess I have to hit the sack soon. 

Anyway,  I am going to say my prayers in a sec…  ANYONE THERE WANT ANYTHING? 

Playing the Peace game July 13, 2008

 An elderly man watched some six and seven yrs old at play, and asked,”what are you playing?”

“War,” they said.

So he told them, “How can anyone be so stupid as to play war?  You all surely know how horrible war is.  Why dont you play peace instead?”

The children stopped, put their heads together, discussed something among themselves, then looked puzzled and finally ran out of words.  One of them then asked the elderly man, “Grandpa, how do we play peace?  We don’t know the game.”

 

I don’t know either; play the game “peace” I mean.  With that I just can’t help thinking of what happened last week at work.  Maybe even my colleagues don’t have any idea of what the game “Peace” is all about.  It’s like everyone is right and no one admits being wrong.  I asked myself now, am I insisting in just being right and not just simply admitting that I can be wronged once in a while?  Am I too proud to admit mistakes?  Maybe I am or maybe I’m not.  I really don’t know. 

The past weeks at work is indescribable, “toxic”… too busy in planning and playing the game “war”.  Trying to outweigh each other, too busy finding faults than emphasizing good work.  We work together so how come we can’t be fair with one another?

Sometimes it’s hard to be human and not knowing how to be one.

People are like Carts July 13, 2008

Carts, carts, carts, the roads are full of carts.  High carts, low carts.  Elegant, newly painted carts.  Rich luxurious carts.  Rickety carts.  Squeaky carts complaining with each turn of the wheels.  Carts piled high with trash and rubbish.  Carts filled wit briers and brush.  Carts full of flowers and vegetables.  Frilly carts.  Sombre carts.  Carts loaded with lumber and stone.  Carts full of rich black earth.  Abandoned carts.  Carts worn out in service.  Repaired carts.  Carts broken and crushed by overloadings.  Carts rusted with disuse.  Slow carts, soiled, neglected carts.  Neat, trim carts.  Carts cramped and uncomfortable.  Spacious and comfortable carts.  Emergency carts.  work carts.  Pleasure carts.  splendid carts that travel noiselessly and unnoticed, healing ointments.  Carts, carts, carts, the roads are full of carts …

what cart are you?

1,2,3 July 10, 2008

Not Spirit Alone…

If you have the Spirit without the Word, you blow up.

If you have the Word without the Spirit, you dry up.

If you have both the Word and the Spirit, you grow up.

 

Conservative VS. Progressive

“In order to walk, you must have one foot on the ground and one in the air.  If you have both on the ground, you don’t move, you are too conservative.  If you have both feet in the air, you fall on your face, you are too progressive.

 

Giving…

“Give, give, give… nothing but give.  I’m tired of giving”, complained the man. 

“Okay, let’s make a deal,” replied his angel.  “ You stop giving the moment God  stops  giving to you.”