crowded words

If i am not for myself,who will be for me? If i am for myself only, what am i?

what’s the matter mishlek? September 28, 2008

Filed under: downUnder — mishlek @ 2:10 am
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 Its almost 2AM, Philippine time that is and still very much wide awake.

 My duty was till 9pm but I went off a little bit earlier to attend to a birthday party that I now just realized I wasn’t able to greet the celebrator.  Imagine that!  I am pretty much embarrassed by the thought of it.  My bad, really!  Good Lord what’s happening to me?  What a day or it should be what a week!  Yap! I am not much of myself these past few days.  I am getting more matampuhin and makulit too, as what he says.  Or maybe it is a sign of early menopausal stage? Naah!  I am still young for that.

“Burn out”… that’s what I’ve been feeling these past few days.  I am getting tired of the monotonous way that I am having every single day.    He says I am getting over too sentimental on small things.  No I am not! Okay, maybe I am, a little perhaps.  But for me everything matters, even the small ones.   And these past few days I do feel like I am the “small one” and I don’t matter at all.

 

I know something good about you… July 25, 2008

Filed under: up[n]about — mishlek @ 2:08 am
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Wouldn’t this old world be better if the folks we meet would say, “I know something GOOD about you”.  And then treat us just that way?  Wouldn’t it be fine and dandy, if each handclasp warm and true.  Carried with it this assurance, “I know something GOOD about you”.  Wouldn’t life be lots more happy, if we praised the good we see?  For there’s such a lot of goodness in the worst of you and me.  Wouldn’t it be nice to practice that fine way of thinking too?  You know something GOOD about me.  I know something GOOD about you.   

 just a thought

 

A Letter to the ONE GOD has Prepared for ME ♥♥♥ July 6, 2008

Filed under: OutLoud — mishlek @ 1:16 pm
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> a few days ago i overheard my Staff talking about a certain letter… and the term they use is so “kakarelate”.  Well here’s the infamous letter thanks to Mr. Goggle and whoever wrote this one “tama nga kakarelate”.   

I am wondering at this very minute if you are thinking of me, if you like me, you are wondering what is taking us so long to find each other

Many times I thought I finally found you only to be disillusioned by the fact that my wait has not yet ended. I get up each morning hoping, dreaming, longing to meet you. I am thinking of how we will Meet, would it be as romantic as the ones I have seen in movies? Or is it possible that I have known you all my life but we have yet to realize that we are meant for each other? Oh how I wish you were here right now because you are the only one who has the answers to all my questions.

Sometimes I ask myself if I have ever really known “love”. I do not have the answer to that question either but I believe that, more often than not, we will never really know what love is until we find that right person….

You just don’t know how often I dream of finally knowing what it feels like to be in your arms. Even at this very moment I am imagining how you will simply sweep me off my feet! Perhaps I would be drawn to you by your smile, or your eyes, or maybe even how you manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways! I don’t really know for sure but I am praying that God will help me recognize you when the right time comes.

I think of all the pain that I have gone through in the past and of how much I have cried since the day I began my search. I just wanted you to know that I find my strength in clinging onto my vision of the beautiful life ahead of me — the life I shall spend with you. In my mind and in my heart I know that you are worth all that pain and sacrifice. After all, the tears have become a part of my life and I believe that they are slowly washing away my flaws so that I would become perfect, not perfect in its truest sense, but perfect — for YOU! I wonder if you’ve gone through so much pain as well. I wonder if you’ve been hurt so many times along the journey. But my dearest one, please don’t ever give up because I am right here… patiently waiting for you! I assure you that when we finally find each other I would slowly heal those wounds by my love.

At night, I would look out my window and stare at the beautiful sky, hoping that somehow you are also looking up and wondering about me. I utter a silent prayer and send all my cries to the heavens above thinking that in time they would reach you. And when I feel impatient, I just close my eyes and believe that you are on your way and that you are longing to see me as well. It is funny but when I finally fall asleep, it is still you that I think of, for you are always in my dreams. It seems that, for now, that is the only place where I can hold on to you, long enough to tell you how much I love you. In my dreams you would kiss away my fears and wrap me with your arms of love.

And this, all the more, makes me want to wake up and face the new day ahead with the hope that soon enough, you will no longer be a dream but a reality and once again I am assured that you are worth the wait. And when that time comes, everything will fall into its place, just as I had imagined, just as I had thought and dreamed, just as I had believed it would be! By then, I would simply look back and smile at all that I have gone through, inspite of the pain and amidst the simple joys of life — and I would be very thankful because they all led me to you!

In the meantime, take care of yourself for me. Hold on to our dream and don’t even think of letting go. Believe in your heart that we will find each other no matter what happens. God has planned the course and it is up to us to follow the directions. Don’t worry, don’t be afraid about getting lost, God saw to it that all the roads, no matter which one you choose to follow…lead to me

 

to you… from me June 27, 2008

Filed under: lucky8, up[n]about — mishlek @ 12:12 am
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Facing life’s challenges is never easy… 

We are struggling in many ways…

God may not give all the easy ways but He gives all the love we need to carry

 

Is it fair? June 25, 2008

Filed under: downUnder — mishlek @ 11:38 am
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I thought about all this & tried to understand it.  I saw that HE controls good people & wise people & what they do, but no one knows if they will experience love or hate.  Good & Bad people end up the same– those who are right & those who are wrong, those who are good & those who are evil, those who are clean & those who are unclean, those who sacrifice & those who do not.  The same thing happen to a good person as happen to a sinner, to a person who makes promises to HIM & to one who does not.  This is something wrong that happens here on earth.  What happens to one happens to all.  So people’s minds are full of evil & foolish thoughts while they live.  After that, they join the dead.  But anyone still alive has hope.  The living know they will die, but the dead know nothing.  Dead people have no more reward, & people forget them.  After people are dead, they can no longer love or hate or envy.  They will never again share in what happens here on earth.

 

any mistakes can be corrected March 13, 2008

Filed under: up[n]about — mishlek @ 10:56 am
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2 yrs ago I met a lady who was so convinced that so much was wrong with her that she was resigned to living alone for the rest of her life.  She has lost the one she thought would love her forever.  She has given up the job that she thought she’s only good at.  She did lose her future.  She was a mess!   Miraculously, in the midst of it all, she decided she was going to work on herself.  She maybe somehow loses her footing but she didn’t get lost.  She decided to get really clear about who she really was and what she wanted.  Knowing who she is, the good and the not so good, was the very first step she made.  She stayed, got “a real job”, find time to go out with friends and love ones.  She had only one goal in mind – to find and get herself in order.  She never stopped – one thing at a time, one day at a time.       Her “One Day” finally came, when she’s not even expecting.  She finally see the light, she finally hear the words, feel the feeling, experience the splendor of the so-called living.  She’s finally in love… with life, HER life now.  She made it after all!  Even though not fully healed, she knows what to do, how to do it and why it is necessary.  She did finally talk about the experience, the in’s and out’s, without too much pain, without too much anger.  And now she knew, that while she was learning, remembering and re-creating with someone’s else life, her OWN life was left out, yet still standing by her side, listening, watching and waiting.  Waiting for her too realize and understand that it has always been there and will always be the only thing she need.   … Yes the work is not over, but Hey!  Her life is just beginning!

 

what my day is all about February 6, 2008

Filed under: bits[n]pieces, lucky8 — mishlek @ 11:34 am
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” If you want to help people, take their hand

 

 

 

 

And talk in a language they can understand.

Don’t be boring it’s bad for your health

Minds will close up, like books on a shelf. ”  girl-amish.gif

 

 

 

 

 

paano ba ngumiti? January 16, 2008

Filed under: OutLoud — mishlek @ 5:00 pm
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embarass.gif“Smile ka naman!”

^Yan madalas sinasabi sa akin pag me pichuran…  

“Naka smile na ako”

^Yan ang lagi kung tugon… 

“Ilabas mo ngipin mo noh!” 

[Putik naman - pati ba naman pag ngiti ko… HMP!]hmph.gif 

^“O ayan labas ipin na!”

“Gandahan mo naman ngiti mo! – ang sabi uli”

“Nagpa-picture ka pa”

^wahhhhhhhh :(  yoko na magpapicture. 

Ewan ko ba pero paano ba ang tamang pag-ngiti?  Kasimple-simpleng bagay pero parang hindi ko ata alam gawin. Kapag ngingiti ba ang tao dapat ba nakalabas ang ngipin?  Kelan ba naging panuntunan na ang pag-ngiti ay may kasamang ngipin na nakalabas?  Hayz!  But in fairness effective ang word na “cheese” sa akin, lumalabas ngipin ko eh. 

Eh pano kung madilaw ang ngipin mo… maraming sira o me bulok.  Gugustuhin mo pa bang ngumiti at makita ng lahat ng tao?  At masaya mo bang babanggitin ang salitang “cheese? Ewwww!  Kung ako yun sabihin ko na lang camera shy ako [hahahha]  Dahil panigurado Goodbye pogi-points o ganda-points mo dun [weeehhhh] 

Eto ang sa akin…Ang pag-ngiti ay walang pamantayan.  Me mga taong ubod ganda ang pag ngiti pero ubod lungkot naman.  Itinatago lang ng mga ngiting iyon ang sakit o kalungkutan nararamdaman…  “façade” ika nga… pang-harap lang.  Mas gugustuhin ko na lang h’wag humarap sa camera kesa pilitin kung ngumiti ng ubod ganda.   

“Hoy Michelle ano ba! Nagmuni-muni ka pa jan! Ngumiti kana!”

^Eto na eto na! ngingiti na bumilang kana! 

1..2..3.. click click 

“Maldita ka Mikaela bat nakadila ka?1bprrt1.gif

^ HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH

 

It happens when it happens December 10, 2007

Filed under: OutLoud — mishlek @ 2:53 am
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everything happens for the best, even it it doesnt seem that way in the beginning. i can say now that time per se does not necessarily heal.  people can go on for years mourning loss.  it’s only in accepting what you’ve been dealt with and learning to have a new relationship with life that slowly leads to healing.

love comes when you’re not looking.  when you’re happy and secure with yourself, you exude an aura that positively attracts people around you.  embrace life and love somehow finds you.  if you remain feeling hopeless and sorry for yourself. searching desperately for love, you emit an aura that may not exactly draw people to you for the right reasons.

for those who knew my story… learn from my heartache  and live life knowing that love is not static.  you cannot box life in, cling on to it, and try to make it perfect.

for those who doesnt know my story… i got a better one now :P

It happens when it happens. Live it, Learn from it, and Enjoy it.

 

Truth about Me December 10, 2007

Filed under: downUnder — mishlek @ 2:45 am
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  • She doesn’t know who she is.

  • She forms herself from the opinions of others.

  • She sees in the mirror the face of a stranger.

  • Who would change this with love.

  • Who would show her the person she really is.

  • Who would show her the face in the mirror is her.

  • Who would show her her beauty,

  • Her inner divinity,

  • Her glory and wonder.

  • And as she protests,

  • Place a finger so tender

  • Upon her lips.

  • To show her the Truth,

  • and finally make her Believe.